“On this team, we’re all united in a common goal: to keep my job.”
— Lou Holtz
THE OATH The Crooked Creatives Officer’s Ward is eternally bound to preserve, protect and defend this league in a manner of conduct set forth by the Founding Members and the three pillars of Chaos, Anarchy, and Hostility.
The duty is upheld with the utmost dishonor by the Seal of the Crooked Creatives Fantasy Football League.
THE COMMISH
YEARS ACTIVE: 2016 - Present
RESUME:
2013 - 2015 Assistant Commish Melton Regime
2008 - 2012 Story Analyst AMC Theaters
2006 - 2007 Standby Passenger Southwest Airlines
2004 - 2006 Equipment Manager Abercrombie Kids
Hobbies:
Spades, Marinara Sauce, Cussing, Book Clubs,
Edibles and Techmo Bowl
Notable Achievements:
Runner Up “2015’s Most Disappointing Marinara Sauce”
8th Place - Maranatha Academy Summer Golf League.
2018 Best Shorthand Stitch - Bernice’s Knitting Club
Borrowed Future Documentary
Approval Rating:
Middle of the road & trending down
Popular Quotes:
‘I’m a Belieber’
‘You think you’re bettahh than me?!’
‘I’ll never move to Spring Hill’
TREASURER
YEARS ACTIVE: 2017 - PRESENT
OPERATIONS
YEARS ACTIVE: 2021 - PRESENT
Resume:
2015 - 2016 Sr. Moderator Lampo Ladies
2012 - 2014 Office Ops Crenshaw Academy
2008 - 2011 Yoga Attendee Dayton Althetics & Swim
2005 - 2007 Taster Jamba Juice
Hobbies:
Meetings, Vacationing, Cleaning, Text Messages,
Being Nosey, and CMA Fest
Notable Achievements:
Voted 2018’s Best Mom - The Bennett Group
Best Mascot - 2013 Liberty Mutual, Bowling Green Kentucky
2020 & 2021 Covid Survivor
ICC
Approval Rating:
Steady Green
Popular Quotes:
‘I can’t taste it’
‘Are you sure that’s a wise decision?’
‘Ohio is the best!’
RESUME:
2012 - 2021 Driver Chevy Tahoe
1999 - 2011 Sketch Artist Indianapolis Boardwalk
1996 - 1998 Child Spokesperson Head and Shoulders
1994 - 1997 Juvenile Detainee Evansville Corrections
Hobbies:
Kayaking, Banana Republic, Online Poker, Virginia Slims,
Bourbon and Cody Bennett
Notable Achievements:
1995 Lead Baratone Evansville Boys Choir
2017 Maxim’s Shiniest Head - 30’s male category
3rd Place - Symrna’s “Best Worn” Plaid and Pleats Festival
Graduate - LeFevre School of Emotions
Approval Rating:
Red
Popular Quotes:
‘Cigarettes aren’t bad…they’re just not good.’
‘Hair products are my jam!’
‘Leave the feelings to Tim’